It's Only Wrong If You Want It To Be
by 00tiva0jisbon00
Summary: This was wrong, so wrong.  But then his words washed over me again, "It is only wrong if you want it to be, Caitlin.".  Then I relaxed a little, maybe he was right. Besides I was enjoying myself. MAJOR Kate/Ari
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is just a little quicky about one of my favorite NCIS couples, Kate and Ari, more formally known as Kari. Just to help get rid of the writers block, yeah, just a tad stuck in my other Kate/Ari story(did I really just say 'tad'? Weird...). This is the missing scene(that I really wished existed) from 'Reveille'. Please review!**

**It's Only Wrong If You Want It To Be**

**Kate Todd's POV**  
I hung up the phone on Gibbs, and Ari held out another ice cube. I knew that I should have hated the man in front of me, but something stopped me. The same thing that stopped me from stabbing him, his eyes. The kind eyes. They were still there, something he seemed to save for me, just me. And I knew that I shouldn't feel my heart flutter every time he talked to me or looked me in the eyes. I definitely should not be feeling anything like that. What I should be feeling was the strong urge to shoot him, but, that wasn't the case. Not this time. And I doubted it ever would be. Nothing could ever be easy, could it? Just once? -Nope.- I looked at the ice cube, not wanting to grab it because my fingers were still numb from the last one he gave me. I felt the ice on my lip, causing my head to snap up. Our eyes met and something in me melted. I might not understand what he was doing, but I, somehow, was willing to trust him. And something in his eyes told me he hadn't wanted to shoot Gerald, and he didn't want to be doing this, that he was acting on orders. But that was something that her team would not understand, definitely not.

We kept the eye contact, and he was suddenly right in front of my face pressing his lips to mine. My eyes widened in shock. Just as I was about to respond, he pulled back. His mask fell briefly, revealing a hurt look then was replaced with a cold stare. He stood up, still looking at me, his eyes never leaving mine. I stood up just as quickly, grabbing his hand, not thinking about any consequences, just acting.

"Ari," I whispered softly, before pulling him closer to me. I looked back into his eyes, the kind eyes, before slamming my lips on to his. He recoiled in shock before running one of his hands through my hair as I laced my arms around his neck. I deepened the kiss as he tugged me towards the chair. The next thing I knew I was straddling him while he sat in the chair, kissing me. That was when the realization hit me. I, me, I was kissing a suspected terrorist. The man who Gibbs wanted to rip limb from limb. And I was enjoying it. I stopped him from leaving, and I started this. And I was enjoying it. Really enjoying it. _Oh, shit, shit, shit. Maybe I should... _My train thought completely disappeared as Ari deepened the kiss even more, making me smile into the kiss. _...You know what? Screw it. _I knew what I wanted, but I wasn't entirely sure about what he wanted. If he wanted this, what ever this was. If it was anything.

"Wait, Ari," I pulled back, looking into his eyes again, "Is this, well, wrong?" I struggled to find the right words. He looked at me, sensing that I was genuinely confused. His eyes softened and a small smile pulled at his lips, "Caitlin, it is only wrong if you want it to be," he said softly to me. His words told me that he wanted me to choose, that he was going to make me choose. I was in complete control, he wasn't going to make me do anything that I didn't want to do.

"And what, my Caitlin, do you want?" he asked me, an arrogant smile played at the edges of his mouth.  
"My Caitlin?" I questioned, "Aren't we a bit sure of ourselves." He opened his mouth, ready with a witty retort, but I took the opportunity and pressed my lips to his again. He laughed into the kiss before pulling me closer to him, if that was even possible. Apparently it was.

**-Kate's apartment later that day-  
**

The scene replayed in my mind over and over, like it was on an endless loop. Getting to the end, only to go straight back the beginning. Then Gibbs' face inched its way into my memory, his suspicious face. He didn't believe my story about what had happened. Sure I had left out a scene, the parts where Ari and I were making out, but I didn't see how that constituted as important information. But that wasn't the point, not to Gibbs, the point was that I hadn't told him everything. That I had essentially lied to the directors face. To the teams' faces. To his face. I hadn't wanted to, but I couldn't see how it could have been any other way. If I had told them, what could they have done? What would they have done? I shuddered at thought. At the teams', at Gibbs', disgusted face. I didn't even know if it was ever going to happen again.

I stood there, my back to the door in my living room, so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't hear the door open and close behind me. I closed my eyes, wishing his hand would be there, around my waist. And then they were, they were wrapped around my waist pulling me towards the couch. They pulled me down on top of him.  
"Ari," I smiled, astonished by his timing. It was perfect, absolutely perfect, and I was having a hard time believing it. It just didn't seem real, but at the time, I didn't care, it was now or never.  
"Caitlin," he responded. My cell phone chose that opportune moment to start ringing. Ari looked at the caller ID before handing the phone to me, "It's Gibbs," he said. I rolled my eyes, _what perfect timing, Gibbs_, "He told me to take the rest of the day off, and relax. If I answer the phone I would be disobeying a direct order. And we can't have that, now can we?" I laughed, having no intention of answering the still ringing phone. Ari laughed, muttering something along the lines of, "Stubborn."

Ten minutes later Ari broke a kiss whispering, "Caitlin." He looked into my eyes, and seemed to forget everything, just stared.  
I smiled at the thought of knowing I wasn't the only one who that happened to, "Yes Ari?" I asked. He looked confused for a moment before regaining his composure and shaking his head, "Unfortunately I can not seem to remember," he stated, not sounding the least bit upset.  
"Well," I murmured, "I guess I will just have to remind you." He raised his eyebrows before my lips came crashing down on to his. I ran my fingers through his hair, while the other hand drew figure eights on his shoulder.

What seemed like seconds later, I heard a noise, but figuring it was just something outside, I completely ignored it. Then not even five seconds later I heard someone walk into my home.

"Kate, why didn't you answer your phone..." Gibbs trailed off, as my head lurched up, my eyes widening in shock, "I see. Now who have we here?" he asked before stepping forward to see who it was.

"Haswari," Gibbs growled, before turning on me, "Kate, care to explain?"

**A/N: So there we have it. Should I add another chapter? Yes, no? It's up to you guys, so review to let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: The amazing people that reviewed: samcamstargate1, redvelvetcupcakes, NCISprobie, VeronicaD13, firstadream100, pirate-princess1, DiNozzoxx, tracker23! You all rock, truly, you do. Love it. Be it. Embrace it.**

**It's Only Wrong If You Want It To Be**

**Kate Todd's POV**

_Ten minutes later Ari broke a kiss whispering, "Caitlin." He looked into my eyes, and seemed to forget everything, just stared.  
I smiled at the thought of knowing I wasn't the only one who that happened to, "Yes Ari?" I asked. He looked confused for a moment before regaining his composure and shaking his head, "Unfortunately I can not seem to remember," he stated, not sounding the least bit upset.  
"Well," I murmured, "I guess I will just have to remind you." He raised his eyebrows before my lips came crashing down on to his. I ran my fingers through his hair, while the other hand drew figure eights on his shoulder._

_What seemed like seconds later, I heard a noise, but figuring it was just something outside, I completely ignored it. Then not even five seconds later I heard someone walk into my home._

_"Kate, why didn't you answer your phone..." Gibbs trailed off, as my head lurched up, my eyes widening in shock, "I see. Now who have we here?" he asked before stepping forward to see who it was._

_"Haswari," Gibbs growled, before turning on me, "Kate, care to explain?"_

"Not really."

He was standing there, right there, in the middle of my living room where he had just seen me making out with Ari Haswari. Gibbs wanted Ari dead, and he just found us making out right after he 'kidnapped' me. I was in deep shit. I climbed off of Ari and stood, facing Gibbs, my gaze defiant. Gibbs looked at me, then back at Ari, then me again. His gaze lingered on me, he wasn't angry with Ari, no he would have expected as much from him, which was because he didn't know Ari. He was angry, no, furious with me. I could almost hear the thoughts whizzing around in his head, _He holds her hostage, then kidnaps her, and now she is kissing him?_ Rage boiled in his gaze as he stared at us, using one of his many interrogation techniques. I was familiar with them, so it didn't frighten me at all. What did scare me was the look in Gibbs' eyes, the way he looked at us with disgust. He couldn't believe it, and he almost wouldn't, but the facts were there, and he wasn't blind. He saw what was right in front of him, and he was good at deciphering it.

"Jethro," I heard the English man's voice ring out from the hall way, "Did you really just barge in and-" he paused for a second, seeing both Ari and I in the room with Gibbs glowering down at both of us, "Oh. Oh, dear." Ducky's voice didn't betray anything, but I could tell he was thinking along the same lines as Gibbs. _Could this get any worse, _I thought to myself. It probably could, I decided, Gibbs could have gotten his gun out. I looked around, wondering why he felt the need to stop by anyway. And it hit me. He had suspected all along. And I had just proved him right.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I wasn't sure how this was going to go over, but, I had to try. "You know, Gibbs, technically, we haven't done anything wrong," I said trying not to sound panicked, which I was. I knew we hadn't, there was no rule against this, but there was no way in hell Gibbs, or rather anyone would see it that way. I looked at Ari and tilted my head to the side, telling him he should leave. If he wanted to live that is.

Ari stood up, walking towards the door, "I see it is time for me to leave. Nice to see you again, Caitlin," And then he was gone, and I was alone with an angry Gibbs, not one of my best ideas. But, there wasn't much I could do about that now. And Gibbs couldn't chase after him because, honestly, we hadn't done anything truly wrong, we hadn't broken any rules. At least none that I knew of. No, the only thing we had broken was trust. Trust that I didn't seem to have ever since I failed to stab Ari months ago in Autopsy. There was always something in the way, and now, now I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't have the faintest clue. I shut my eyes again, willing this to be just a nightmare, that I would wake up hoping the first part happened, and the that the last part would be forever erased from my memory. But that wouldn't happen. Definitely not.

"Again?" Ducky asked, catching what Ari had said. I mentally cursed Ari, reminding myself to tell him to be more careful what he said around my co-workers. That is if I survived the wrath of Gibbs, which at this point, didn't look too promising.

Gibbs smirked, "Yes, again," he said to Ducky, then turning to me, "Kate, I think you may have left something out of what happened when Ari kidnapped you." I smiled, forcing myself to look relaxed, which I most certainly was not, "You do?" I asked innocently, knowing he wouldn't buy it. Gibbs wasn't stupid, no, in fact he was the opposite of that, but, he could be blinded by certain things. Ari Haswari seemed to be one of them. When trying to catch Ari, Gibbs forgot anything else, everything else. It was a weakness, and one that he would not easily admit.

"Yes," he growled, "Your time line didn't add up. Now lets go."

I walked into the bull pen, Gibbs' gaze never left me. It was like he was afraid I was going to run off. Yes, because that would be a great idea, I was essentially a prisoner so running off in a building full of armed federal agents, that wouldn't be a bad idea at all. Nope.

"Gibbs," Tony called out, seeing his boss enter the room, "Abby's got something. She wants you to go down the the lab."

Gibbs nodded, "DiNozzo, keep an eye on her," he said, looking at me. He couldn't leave me alone for a minute, could he? I rolled my eyes, I wasn't a suspect of murder, I hadn't done anything that was actually wrong, so what was with everyone acting like I was something they had to hold on to, or else it would slip away. Tony's eyebrows furrow in confusion, "Uh, boss?" he asked, puzzled. Gibbs glared at me, his eyes like ice, "Why don't you ask Kate just how _well _she knows Ari Haswari," he sneered before turning to go down to Abby's lab. My mouth dropped in disbelief, he actually said that.

I looked down, not wanting to meet Tony's gaze. I wasn't ashamed, and I didn't regret what had happened, but I didn't know how he was going to react. And I didn't like it, not knowing.

"What?" Tony questioned, "Kate, you didn't, did you?" My head snapped up, my eyes fierce. What gave them the right to judge me like that? They didn't even know him. I hardly knew him, and yet I knew better than to judge a book by it's cover. But they weren't there when he 'kidnapped' me, they didn't know what happened, they didn't know _him._ I opened my mouth to say something to Tony, but he cut me off.

"When? When did this start?" he asked me, there was no kindness left in his voice. If there was one thing that would make the team turn there backs on me, it was Ari Haswari. And yet, I couldn't, wouldn't bring myself to regret my dissension. And even if I had it was too late anyway. There was no going back now.

"When he kidnapped me," my voice came out as a whisper, I could barely hear myself. I could feel his gaze go cold, like was staring right through me. Like I didn't exist.

"Traitor," he spat, his voice filled with venom. My heart felt heavy with dismay, I had let myself hope he would understand, but like anyone else he couldn't. Wouldn't. Just plain wouldn't.

"No, Tony," I whispered, tears coming to my eyes. He didn't understand, if I could just explain, then maybe, just maybe he would. But something told me they wouldn't, no matter what I did, no matter what I said, they would never understand. Because they wouldn't.

"Yes." I turned around, almost running towards the stairs, I couldn't bare to be in their presence anymore. I stopped at the door, I was really just walking out of there. Tears slid down my cheeks, they could have at least let me tell my side of the story. They don't even know what is going on, but I did, and they wouldn't let me tell them. Because they didn't trust me. Now, even after everything we had been through, I was nothing to them. I felt something touch my shoulder, and I whirled around, expecting the worst.

"Kate?" Abby asked me, I could tell by the look on her face, that she wanted me to say it wasn't true, that it was a lie. The only problem? It was.

She noticed my hesitation, "How could you? That bastard shot Gerald. And he shot Gibbs. He shot Gibbs! They could have died."

"Abby," I whispered, wanting, needing her to understand, for someone to understand.

"Go," it was Tony. I glanced back at Abby, who just looked away, then I turned and walked out the door, into the bitter cold. Which was exactly how I felt.

I looked around my apartment, it felt like hours later, hours since I walked out of NCIS. I hadn't quit, and I knew I wouldn't be fired, but I didn't think I could face them again. Not yet. Definitely not yet. Just thinking about that brought tears of both rage and sadness to my eyes. I grabbed a picture of the team off my dresser and flung it across the room where the glass frame shattered, and the picture tore. Right down the middle. I sank to the ground, unable to keep the tears at bay. Not this time.

I heard someone enter the room not even seconds later, I didn't move, I didn't look, I didn't care. The person put their arms around me, holding me, whispering, "Do not worry. It will turn out alright." I knew that voice. Ari. I fell back into his embrace, hoping, praying he was right. And somehow, even after everything, I knew he was right.

**A/N: The end! I didn't really want to end it here, but I have ideas for my other Kari story, and I don't want to lose them. I hope you all liked it and maybe you'll check out my story Unspoken, Still Heard(it's Kate/Ari)...? Maybe... Just think about it. **

**Thanks for reading!**


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